On Saturday I spoke with two couples concerning marriage issues.
Both couples have similarities. As you know, I do not disclose personal information on my clients or potential clients, so I will not mention their exact issues, just the dynamics that make up so many marriage disputes.
When two people come together to form a union, marriage, they bring with them expectations. As long as those expectations are respect, love and honesty, there will not be a problem. The problems or issues come in when one or both partners bring with them faulty thought patterns, commonly called baggage.
So one year or twenty years into the marriage, this baggage or thought patterns start to develop into major disputes, soon divorce seems like the only way out.
What can a couple do? Is divorce the only answer?
This was my conversation last night with a couple. Sure you can tell them, preach to them or advise them to be thankful for what they have. I find that easy to say, especially after my wife's accident. Unfortunately that is like printing a warning on the package of cigarettes. It just does not work.
So what is the answer. First, most couples issues boil down to three issues, based on two dynamics. The two dynamics of life are , Fear and Love. Either you Love to do something or you Fear the consequences if you don't do it.
The three dynamics are wanting events your way, the way you feel they should be. The second dynamic is not trying, not experiencing life the way you should. The third dynamic is simply, trying to get others to fill your voids.
As a Life Coach, I see this very quickly in couples. Last night I noticed these dynamics at play in both partners. Ok, so now we know the dynamics at play, now what, what do we do?
There are several methods to help a client. As always you can try mental health therapy. I am not a fan of traditional mental health therapy. You can try Somatic Emotional Release work or Emotional Unwinding. Either method works well. This work, a byproduct of cranial sacral work and MFR, is designed to unleash the unresolved issues that you are holding in your tissues.
I use this work and have found that most clients release the emotional baggage and start to feel better physically. If you would like more information on Life Coaching or Somatic Emotional Release work, please feel free to call my office at 706-864-7000.
Jeff
